Cheap Stuff

Last night, Colbert did a hilarious report on the Foxconn plant in China that is currently embroiled in a nasty public relations scandal with so many workers committing suicide, thereby drawing attention to the extremely unpleasant living conditions of the workers there. Colbert pointed out, quite rightly, that there would be no market for such cheap items were Americans not seduced by promises of cheap, cheap and cheaper.

For all of you made in America folks out there, how many of you actually buy American? How many of you bought American in the 90's when we were sending factories south of the border for cheaper wages? It's not corporate America that's at fault here - corporate America does what it does to increase value for the shareholders. What increases value? Sales. American CONSUMERS consumed the cheapest products, rather than the quality products, so American factories moved offshore.

When I lived in Austria, I knew people who would save up for months to buy high quality items because they didn't want to have to replace the blender they bought for at least a decade. When you buy a 100euro blender that you expect to last ten years or more (my mother's old Oster lasted fifteen years, the old Sharp microwave lasted 18 years), you're paying 10euro per year (not getting into the TVM issue here), while others who buy cheap blenders buy 20euro blenders every year or two, plus the frustration of using a lousy product. American consumers chose price over quality, and those folks who shop at Walmart should just be quiet about not having jobs, because we did this to ourselves.

Resume tips

I recently was privileged to speak with a controller at a large local non-profit near here, and I have been attending ongoing meetings with my Seattle U mentor, and have gotten a couple of good resume tips that I'd like to share.

If your primary value as an employee is your education, don't just list your degree; also list some of your coursework or activities. Under job experience, don't say that your responsibilities were blah blah, write a couple of "success stories." Under your "Expert in MS Word" list *exactly* what you're an expert in - can you write macros? are you a whiz with Pivot Tables in Excel? Are you good at calendaring appointments or setting up group mailboxes in Outlook? Above all, list only the most important, interesting items to get their interest. A too-full resume is just as off-putting as a thin one.

Both of them agreed that the most important factor to consider is that your resume is probably one of at least 100 sitting on someone desk or in someone's inbox, especially in this economy. Anything you can do to make yourself stand out should be included, such as sports awards, music, whatever makes you unique, you should include in your resume. Your goal is to get the person reviewing resumes to spend more than 20 seconds scrolling up and down your resume and actually hook them enough to want to give you a ten minute callback, and then hopefully an interview.

Job Loss graph - turn your eyes away quickly, it hurts too much

Job loss projections

I read recently that job loss projections for workers between 18-30 is supposed to reach 30% this year, and over 10% nationwide. Which is, quite frankly, really disturbing.

I'm thankful I have a good job right now, but you never know. Everyone keeps talking about how consumers shouldn't be so worried, and it's their worry that is slowing the economy - no spending. But, when you feel like you might lose your job next week, what in the world would induce you to spend this week?

I have the feeling I'll be eating a lot more rice in the coming months. Good thing I like rice. :)

Almost busiest time of the year!

One of the truly joyous aspects of working at a company whose primary function is retail sales is the Christmas holiday season. Since this is the busiest time of year, and since this Christmas is combined with a once in a century economic meltdown worldwide, the department in which I work is going to be doubly inundated.

Which brings me to my main problem - my intellectual "eyes bigger than my stomach" problem. Because you see, I thought I could handle a full time job and a full time school load. And I have. But just barely, and starting next week, there is mandatory overtime scheduled.

It's going to be fun.

So, to anyone out there who wants to write me an email or talk to me in any way, shape or form - I am likely to send Christmas cards as a way to decompress, but that's probably about it in the way of communication for the next 5-6 weeks.

Did I mention it's going to be fun!?

dry drowning

I read recently about the case of a boy who died of 'dry drowning.' Essentially, he got enough water in his lungs to start the shutdown of the lungs but not enough for anyone to really notice anything was amiss, other than a general lack of energy and lassitude. Poor kid took a nap and never woke up.

My job is slowly dry drowning me. Just enough at a time that I don't storm out cursing all of them to perdition, but still drowning me, nonetheless. My job should be done by 2.5 people (the .5 working half in German inquiries, half in other organizations) and right now, there's just me. What I remind myself is that I have extraordinary job security (compared to many in the American workforce at the moment) and that the job itself is interesting enough to ignore a lot of the unhappiness that comes attached to being overworked and undercompensated. I wonder how long I'll be able to continue to convince myself of that....

working...

I have decided to declare hibernation for the foreseeable future.

Here I am at work, at 6:20 in the morning, and I was here until 9:20 last night. So any of you who have any interest in seeing or talking to me - wait until my one day off a week. ha!

Lucky for me, I actually like my job and actually get paid for all the time I put in, otherwise I wouldn't be putting it in. :) This week, I will be trained in the remaining orgs that I have not been trained in yet, and will start training to be a law enforcement liaison. When someone gets a subpoena for records, I would be one of the people contacted. Cool thing is, I'll be doing that for Germany, so I'll get to putter around in German all the time. Doesn't matter how dull the job actually is when you make it all in German or French - the inherent interest level virtually skyrockets.

I am very much looking forward to my ten days off next month when I travel to Austria again. I can't wait to stuff myself with yummy kaesekrainer and schnitzelsemmel and gelato... mmm.... *happy sigh*

Back to work!

FSOT

So... slight annoyance. I took the new and revamped Foreign Service Officer test the first time I could feasibly take it in December. We were supposed to receive results early this week. However, I received word from someone on the message board I belong to that the results won't be available until March 17. So, more waiting. I'm told this is an implied factor of the test - the patience and perseverance it takes simply to get through the entire process.

I figure it takes the average candidate 3-5 tries to get in. I'll give it five tries and if it's still a no go, I'll know it's time to give up. In the meantime, I'll continue as I am, making money to pay off debts so that I can make a decision about my future without my debts making up the largest portion of my decision-making pie chart.

When a Hummer just won't cut it....

Because sometimes... you really need a badonkadonk.

Best part - a random sampling of items customers who viewed this item also viewed:

• Dr. John's Famous PeePee
• Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to [sic]
• SILK Micro F-String Thong
• Wedding Chapel - 10 x 18 With Wood Roof
• Solid Gold S.E.P. (Stop Eating Poop) (3.5-oz container)
• The George W. Bush Voodoo Kit
• Inflatable Party Sheep
• Duncan Hines Classic Yellow Cake Mix
• Heinz Spotted Dick Pudding, 10-Ounce Cans (Pack of 6)
• Sprinkler Nipple Extractor - 1 / 2"

of books, movies, and work

Recently, I spent too much money on scrapbooking supplies. So, while I'm scrapbooking, I watch my netflix movies. I just finished Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, both of which were awesome, and am getting La Vie en Rose for tomorrow. I still have Das Boot, but it's so long, I've been saving it.

I also just read The Namesake, by Jhumpa Lahiri, and it was excellent. However, I was rather depressed and unhappy about the state of the world and life in general after reading it. So... I guess that's a point in its favor, that I was so invested in the characters I really had a an emotional reaction. But I doubt I'll be reading it for fun anytime again soon.

Lastly, I saw There Will Be Blood and In Bruges in the past few days - if you can see either of these, go for it. In Bruges is meant to be a dark comedy, but There Will Be Blood often crosses that line without even seeming to mean to. Both truly excellent movies.

And, yet again, I am working six days this week. So, it's good for my wallet, no so good for my sanity.

Internet privacy

There are a number of oxymorons that I could make jokes about - military intelligence, honest politician, and so on - but by far my favorite is internet privacy. Someone once told me that unless you wouldn't mind seeing anything you put up on the internet on a billboard on the road entering the town in which you live, you shouldn't put it up. I have taken this to heart, and while there may be things that I would prefer not to be put up, there's nothing that would be in any way titillating or otherwise. Some may call this boring. I call it prudent.

One of the perks of my job is the unique variety of things people buy and the information one gets by seeing someone's purchase history. I believe I already mentioned the GCs sent to dominatrices. The men buying these would probably be horrified to know of someone knowing about this. There have also been sex toys, various explicit books and videos, and a truly strange little item called a "Keinohrhase" or "Rabbit with no ears." It's a relationship tool.

Anyway, this was all sparked by one of the orders I came across today. The customer's Yahoo! profile was a picture of his junk. One of my colleagues has gotten a picture of testicles before, but this was a first for me.

All I have to say is this: WHY would you ever post a picture of yourself - especially if you aren't precisely impressive - on the internet for ANYONE to see?

I need an iPod

I'm getting really bored at work. I check the news every few minutes. I answer email. I write on my blog. It's not as though there's not work. It's just that the work there is is rather mind-numbing and one needs these little mental breaks to keep from going stark raving mad. I think I might go make myself some hot apple cider shortly.

All of my colleagues either have an mp3 player or they smoke. I don't intend to take up smoking, so I guess I need an mp3 player. Maybe this will help with the need to make sure that my brain doesn't turn to a giant pile of applesauce inside my skull.

On another note, I watched Batman and Robin: The Movie last night, and it was hilarious. Very dry humor, absolutely obnoxious dialogue, and great tights. "Holy Polaris, Batman!" - very funny. It's very much in the 60's science/technology show mentality, though - I think Star Trek and Batman have more in common than I thought.

Funny orders

One of the most fun parts of my job is viewing the orders made by people. Sometimes, the mix is just WRONG, as is the case frequently. Once I wanted to cancel an order of 80's music, hot pink dolls, and relationship book based purely on bad taste. But we're not allowed to do that.

My favorite orders by far are the gift cards purchased for dominatrices. Some of these women are making bank! The gift cards are typically between 100-500euro, and there are generally multiple payments. The best are when you can see the progression of various dominas on a particular account - one man's average was about three months with each one, then he'd move on to the next. Today, I have an order for a 150euro GC and a vacuum cleaner and accessories to be mailed to Lady L. (not writing the full name here). I'm really curious if the postman knows who Lady L is, since there's no last names allowed.

It's the little things in life that make things fun. :)

And now... for something completely different

I work a lot. This week, I've already hit forty hours, and I still have today and tomorrow to go. This is good, though, because I get paid overtime, which I like.

I have decided that, in honor of not having any time to relax anymore, I would have a hat show-and-tell week! I don't actually have more than five hats, so I figured that's just right. So, next week, for each day of the week, I will post a picture of one of my hats while on my head.

Tonight, I get off a little early because I want to go check out the company store. I've been told it's not all baseball caps with logos on it, although a baseball cap with a logo on it would actually be kind of cool, so I want to see what they've got. I've also heard you can buy a laptop for $50 through a sort of raffle thing, but I dunno how much I would want to pay for a used Dell laptop. Save myself the effort and get a new one - they're almost as cheap.

Also tonight, I'm watching a movie. Not Monty Python, although that would be awesome, but Blood Diamond, which showed up via Netflix a while ago, and I haven't watched it yet. I've heard it's good, but you don't want to watch it twice. That's fine, because I'm only renting it. :)

Holiday Busy-ness

One of the things I like most about the holidays is how busy I am.

One of the things I like least about the holidays is how busy I am.

My brother came back to visit, so I’ve been spending piles of time with him, and a friend that I haven’t seen in a year a half reconnected, on top of the regular holiday scheduling, plus starting a new job. They’re both flying back to their respective homes tomorrow, I’ve gotten more comfortable in my job, and the holidays are, for all intents and purposes, over. So now I have more time on my hands for working overtime.

This year has been very good for me. I am looking forward to how many great new things I’ll be able to do and try this year. I plan to continue with pottery, take a knitting class, a sewing class, and learn to swim this summer. All I managed this last summer was learning how not to drown with a little training board and how to float – but I was rather proud of that. Next week, I’m signing up for a gym membership and a personal trainer. I’m researching condos for my move in June, and looking longingly at a gorgeous cream brocade Victorian chaise that I know I can’t yet afford.

I hope you all have had wonderful holidays as well and done fun things with people you love.

Ich wünsche euch eine guten Rutsch in neue Jahr!

Almost Christmas!

This week has been long. After more than a couple of months sitting on my chair doing nothing but attempt to prevent myself from falling into a coma, going back to doing real work all day long was rather tiring. I was so tired, in fact, that I went to sleep at 6:30pm on Tuesday night after getting home from work.

Both because of the keeping busy part and just because, I LOVE my new job! I really like the people, I like the atmosphere, I like the style of the company, and I like what I do. I'm never bored, and there's always something interesting and amusing to see. Today, I ran across an email address: "hexenweib43" or something similar, which translates loosely to, "witchy woman." The funny part is that she was attempting to buy an electronic item on a new account with several bad debt relations. Not the most brilliant thing one could do and expect to get away with it. So, in case you're wondering - ordering electronic stuff online using free emails with silly handles isn't probably going to be successful.

I watched the Canadian Brass on Wednesday evening with my brother. They were about as schticky as I expected, but also just as talented as I expected. They are all wonderfully technically proficient, of course, and they put on a great show. I very much enjoyed it, and considering I spent only $16 for my ticket, I'm quite pleased with it.

I'm now back at home for the weekend. I have to go into work Monday, quite early. I'm planning on getting there around 7am, because I don't yet have an after hours pass to my building. Then I'll work through lunch and hopefully be out of there in time to beat it to the ferry dock. Thankfully, most people can't order anything and guarantee it arrives by Christmas if they order it on Monday, so there should be fewer bozos to deal with. Everyone else in my department is working this weekend, but since I'm still training, I would actually slow down the progress of my supervisor so I'm not working. I only feel slightly sad about this - and that only because I calculated how much money I make on overtime now.

I'm also looking forward to getting trained to work on business in France, just to see how much French I've forgotten. I do find it vastly amusing that the most useful portion of my Master's degree was my language training. We received an absolutely hilarious email from a customer that quite literally took me back to my days of reading German before it was standardized (essentially pre-1550). If there's a name for the sort of German that corresponds to the English a redneck on his sixth beer at 3am would use, it would apply to this email. It's difficult to misspell in German (at least, I think so, coming from English), but maybe 1/3 of this person's email was spelled correctly. Not only that, but it was utterly nonsensical even if you could read the whole thing well, which you couldn't. Really, an excellent way to start off one's morning. :)

I am told that tomorrow will be a day of baking and food preparing, so I guess my big plans for tomorrow are to bake some gingerbread and possibly go to a movie with my brother. I do like these sorts of weekends.

Happy weekend before Christmas, everybody!

moving on...but first, a break

Today is my last day at this job!! YAY!!!

Okay, got that out of the way. This weekend is going to be quite busy. Tonight, I have a concert with the Wind Ensemble I joined in October. I would like to find an orchestra to play with, though, because playing French Horn in band is boring. I would much rather be playing Euphonium in a band. But anyway, I’m sure the concert will be fine. Tomorrow, I’ll be sitting for the Foreign Service Officer Test for the second time, but it’s the new testing format, so I have no idea how I’ll do. My scores on the practice test have improved, though. I also bothered to study this time. :)

After the test, I’m grabbing my cat and heading back to mom’s place for a few days. Since my new job isn’t supposed to start until the 17th, I figured I’d spend some time with mom, plant the bulbs I’ve been meaning to plant, and just kind of dink around. I also got an order request on etsy to make some special order lace gloves, so that’ll be fun. Since I’m still finishing up the stuff I’m making for my friend K’s baby, I’ll be pretty much crocheted out this weekend.

Hopefully I will have enough money to join a gym soon so I can get rid of this sneaking suspicion that all the muscle/cardio capacity I built up in Singapore is slowly turning to flab.

An Auspicious Beginning to the Holidays

Today is an auspicious day. At lunch, I will go to the post office, and mail not only my Christmas cards (and it’s still the first week of December!!) but also my voter registration. I am currently still registered to vote in Oregon, but I don’t like voting in Oregon, so I’m switching to Washington. I like the registration process in Washington better anyway, because you don’t have to register with a political party. However, because of consolidated voting, I don’t get to vote for a Republican in one race and a Democrat in another, which is really irritating. As an independent, I would like to be able to choose who I think is best for a job based on their positions and experience, not based upon their party affiliation. I really hate political parties.

Anyway, that will also be early, since my deadline is January 18, 2008 if I want to vote in the Presidential primary in Washington (not as though my vote will count, but it’s the principle of the thing). So, I am early in two important areas of my life for the first time in recent memory. I didn’t get my Christmas cards out last year until the week before Christmas, and I’m pretty sure some didn’t go out until after Christmas. But then, traditionally, Christmas is December 25 until January 6 (Epiphany or Twelfth Day), so I always said I had until the 6th. Technically. But of course, no one actually cares about the twelve days of Christmas anymore, it’s all crass commercialism up until the 25th, then the tree gets chucked by the 31st. How sad.

Next week, I am not working. I gave notice to end my current employment on Friday because I can't stand it anymore but because of background checks, I will not be able to start work this Monday, but the following Monday, unless by some miracle my background check comes back early. I sincerely doubt this, because I had 15 addresses on my list in the past seven years (five were from this year alone). So, I’ve decided to enjoy my last week of freedom before I settle down to my average 10-15 hrs of overtime per week job.

Good news!!

Okay, so there were two really cool things about my interview today.

The first cool thing is that is went REALLY well, and the last interviewer (there were four, the head of the German department, head of North American department, head of the Japanese department, and the head of the whole fraud department), mentioned that they were really desperate for someone with my language skills. When I mentioned to the head of the German department that I was also competent in French, he looked like I do when I bite into a really expensive dark chocolate truffle. Well, maybe not quite that much, but you get the idea. The French department is still really low-key, but they're always interested in multilingual people.

The second cool thing is that they reimburse me for all of my expenses. This would have been nothing, since I live close enough to walk, so I don't need parking or a hotel, but the HR person assured me that I could get my lunch paid for. So, like any normal person would under those circumstances, I bought myself a really nice lunch at the organic place downstairs after I got back to work. I bought organic root beer, organic peanut butter cups, Sante Fe Chicken Chowder (fabulous!), and a fruit and cheese medley. Now that I've eaten it all, I feel slightly sick. But it tasted really good, and it was free, which is the best part.

Now, I cool my heels and wait for them to call me.

boredom ergo lists

I was very busy at work yesterday. I suppose it’s only natural that I should be less than busy today. But tomorrow – tomorrow, I go in for my huge interview with the largest book distributor in the world. Apparently, they have you meet 4-5 people, and the total interview time is around 4-6 hours, at least for programmers. I have no idea what amount of time it would take for the position I’m interviewing for.

These lists are inspired by my unpacking and current boredom.

Favorite children’s books:
Where the Wild Things Are
Hatchet
Sing Down the Moon
Island of the Blue Dolphins
Tuck Everlasting
Chronicles of Narnia
Heidi
Black Beauty
The Black Stallion
Anne of Green Gables
Little Women

Favorite Classic Mysteries
Murder on the Orient Express
Ten Little Indians
The Hound of the Baskervilles
The Sign of Four

Favorite Classics
David Copperfield
Pride & Prejudice
Sense & Sensibility
The Jungle Books
Treasure Island
The Importance of Being Earnest
King Lear
Heart of Darkness

Favorite American works
Tom Sawyer
Huck Finn
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court
On the Road
My Antonia
Angle of Repose
The Scarlet Letter

Disclaimer: This list was compiled without the benefit of being able to check what is actually on my shelves. This is because I am currently trying to waste time, and I generally have better things to do at home than make lists of books I like.