Pictures update!!

New pictures on flickr! Will have the rest of them uploaded over the course of the next two weeks (hey, a dozen and a half rolls of film to scan...that will take a while). Here's my favorite from the roll I scanned today.

"One must imagine Sisyphus happy"

I am personally ambivalent about the story of Sisyphus. Quick summary: Sisyphus was condemned by the gods to roll a heavy stone up a hill, then let it fall back to the plain and begin all over again, the idea being that there is nothing worse than laboring for eternity at an entirely meaningless task.

There is the sense of tragedy, in a Greek compulsion sense of tragedy, about the story because Sisyphus is compelled to raise the stone and let it fall for all eternity. But, there is another element of tragedy, which is sometimes referred to as the Christian tragedy of choice, but I think it also applies here, wherein Sisyphus's choices in life forced him into compulsory futility in death.

At least Sisyphus has a purpose. He has a place in the world. It is a purposeless purpose, though, and therein lies the irony. If the purpose for which we live is in actuality meaningless, what then is our true purpose? Sisyphus knew that he had always to return and push the rock back up after letting it fall. Isn't it more tragic not to know that your life has no purpose?

Thanks to quixote for this awesome short story about Sisyphus - definitely worthwhile. I love this quote: "Sisyphus, proletarian of the gods, powerless and rebellious, knows the whole extent of his wretched condition: it is what he thinks of during his descent." Camus argued that if the myth is tragic, it was in knowing one's fate - the consciousness of futility. But he concluded that in actuality, Sisyphus was happy. I believe this is because he sees Sisyphus's fate not as something pre-ordained by fate, but as something he chose, absurd though it may have been.

Camus writes, "There is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night." - showing that Sisyphus had to push up the stone and watch it roll back down - the hope of finally succeeding is like believing that humans can conquer death. In this, I'm not sure if he's seeing the myth the way the Greeks perhaps would have - I don't know enough about it to make a judgment. But it's certainly a take on the myth that I hadn't thought of before.

Edit: I do NOT study modern history, and avoided any good modern Western civilizations courses (through no fault of my own) and didn't realize this was such a seminal work. Oh well.

Want clear skin?

Eat organic and use moisturizer. My rules: I NEVER, EVER use soap. NEVER use astringent. Nothing that will dry my skin goes on my face. Sorry about the overkill with the me pictures, but I just found out how much weight I lost, and I'm just so darn excited!! Since I appear to be doing something right for once, I may be able to continue to lose. After I lose ten more lbs, I will be at the weight I was in junior high. I have NEVER been this weight as an adult, and I just had to crow for a little bit. Plus, I've never had this clear of skin before either. Anyone who knew me in high school can attest to this - I was a breakout queen. Now, clear skin, well on my way to a healthy body. This is definitely something I'm proud of. My whole life philosophy thingamajig must be working. :)

Friendly Fire Incident

The friendly fire incident four years ago in which two U.S. A-10 fighter pilots fired on a British tank group and killed one man has been a fascinating exercise in the difference in spin between my only two international news channels that are in English.

On CNN Intl, the pilots are described as distraught and obviously upset when they realized what they had done. The "experts" interviewed by the anchorman and anchorwoman pointed out the difficulties the pilots faced, from faulty information to simply the uncertainty of the situation, the 'fog of war.'

On BBC, the incident was reported as the U.S. not being able to keep its communications together (remember, this was four years ago during the initial invasion - I'm sure we've gotten better since then). My favorite difference was when the widow released a statement saying how upset she was at the casual language the pilots used after they realized that they had fired on friendly troops. She said this just proved how completely callous they were.

On CNN Intl, pilots swearing equals distraught (American males express distress by swearing, they also express happiness, excitement, anger, envy, and other emotions in a similar fashion); on the BBC to the widow, it apparently means callous and stupid.

Perhaps this is a cultural difference. Or perhaps CNN and BBC are much more loyal than they would like to say they are.

back to the drawing board

so, I'm back where I was in October. I really don't know what's wrong with me sometimes - I always have these great ideas and then realize that that's really not where I want to go anyway.

So the drawing board - I said once that I wouldn't go back to grad school unless it was something I really felt passionate about because otherwise, the work would be complete drudgery instead of just partial drudgery. Well, I've found a grad school program that I think would only be partial drudgery. The workload has me choking slightly, but it's all really amazing stuff worth reading. So yes, I have applied to a program in Development and International Relations at Aalborg University in Denmark. We shall see how this new idea holds up.

One of the requirements for the degree program is a 3-5 month long internship with an international organization that fulfills the requirements for the coursework. I was looking at the Carter Center and the UN thinking that it would be really interesting to work on projects that would have real world importance, then I remembered the William J. Clinton Foundation and checked out their website. I was impressed with the number of offers for interns and ability to get hands on experience, then I realized that many, many jokes would be made at my expense if I were to intern there. So sad....

Super Bowl

Okay, so I have to write something since my cousins are obsessed with the Superbowl. It starts in twenty minutes, and I won't be watching. Hopefully, I will be asleep. I finally figured out last night that the Colts are from Indianapolis. This is how much I care.

But, large ad companies will make LOTS of money off of this spectacle. Blech. I'd much rather watch an inspirational football movie like 'Remember the Titans' than watch real football. Much more interesting.

May the best team win!